Effects ..... how traumatized are the children really?

I received emails in private and read some postings in another discussion group. My mind started again on the pros and cons. I admit being mad, angry, hateful, and definitely out for retribution. I want changes, some action ... but what about the children per se?

So far, one identifiable trauma is a phobia from relationship. I am still unmarried nor commitment material. My brother got married when he was 32, which was six years ago. His girlfriend waited for more than a decade. Now I read someone catching her mom with a lover, and her stance - firm resolution never to get married, to anyone.

How can we help ourselves from this emotional scarring?

At least, from these, it is obvious that the children are indeed collateral damage, definiely affected. Any suggestions?

I have therefore rethink the course and nature of the yahoogroup Jail the Mistress. More immediate concern is a support group.